Yodelayeeee!

Jack Bauer is back and so am I. But in my case I will not lean against a tree and cry like a little baby with diaper rash. Man what a wuss.

What dragged me out of the den of obscurity and back into this wonderland? I really have no idea. Except to say, does Donald Trump really deserve a star on the Hollywood walk of fame?

I remember, back in the day, when you had to be a pretty damn good actor with a long track record of good movies before you would be given that honor. Now you just need to be an annoying real estate mogul to get one. What are the chances Donald bought the star? I bet he did. Or the father of that skanky Miss USA he pardoned owns Hollywood. Either way, I decided if Mr. Trump (as the butt kissers on his show call him) deserves a star then I do as well. And not only me, a number of other people in my life deserve one.

The additional stars would, of course, start with me. It is not commonly known, plus I don't like to draw attention to myself, but I am a pretty darn good yodeler. Or as they say in the backwoods of my old country home, "yohdlier". Yes, it's true. And to top it all off, I can do it while eating spam and eggs. High quality entertainment, that is. You too can be a master yodeler.

Another star needs to go to the lady at the drive-thru window at my local Wendy's. Not only is my spicy chicken sandwich spicy with some actual chicken, she is consistent with the amount of ketchup for my fries. I ask, "May I get a bunch of ketchup packets?" She then responds with, "Sí, usted persona estúpida. " Which loosely translated means, "I love you so much I will give you 2."

I would give a third star to the guy that keeps missing the urinal in the men's bathroom. Many of you have no clue how much talent and dexterity this actually takes. Sure, anyone could get it into that large opening in front of them but it takes great skill to get it all over the floor and across the wall. We still stare in amazement how he got it that high on the wall.

Another achievement was when I came in once and noticed him just finishing up writing the preamble of the constitution on the floor. It was cute that he wrote, "We the PEEple." Tee hee, that crax me up.

Of course the next star goes to the janitor who cleans up after that other guy.

That is the start of my list of people who deserve a star on the Hollywood walk of fame if Donald Trump can get one. The list will continue to grow. Any suggestions from the rest of you?

Thanks and have a nice day.