Life is Bare, Gloom and Mis'ry Everywhere

This will be the last I post I will write on global warming. Two of them in two weeks is just way too much discussion on the topic. After today I will focus on other things endangering mankind. Namely bad dentures. These evil devices have been proven to come alive and eat people from the inside. Insidious little creatures, they are.

Today people in Paris, known as "scientists", released the long awaited report on global warming. In it we are told that man is "very likely" responsible for global warming and we should feel ashamed and embarassed to the point of gashing our eyes out then sit in the middle of a busy freeway repeating to ourselves, "Oh great god of nature do not smite me with thine rays of fire and death, Oh great god of nature do not smite me with thine rays of fire and death!" It's in there, go ahead and look.

Of course this report came from an organization brought together by the UN. The same UN that brought you the oil for sex with children program. They say that policies must be put in place immediately that limit what we, humans, are doing to destroy the planet. Apparently this will be solved by giving away lots of money and planting vegetable gardens.

I propose we handle global warming the same way we handle the AIDS in Africa issue. Because people are still going to "emit greenhouse gases" no matter what anyone says, we should wrap the earth in a giant condom.

Quote of the day: "It had a very sinister appearance," Coakley told reporters. "It had a battery behind it, and wires." (referring to the "bombs" found around Boston - The devices displayed a "Mooninite" -- an outer-space delinquent who makes frequent appearances on the cartoon -- greeting passersby with an upraised middle finger. )