I Washed My Hands in Muddy Water

Hello...

You still here?

I admire you for your patience.

I washed my hands yesterday evening using a 'stinky' soap from Bath & Body Works. It was one hanging around the home and not intentionally sought after as a cleansing agent. My hands were dirty, it was there, and it was 'Anti-Bacterial'.

The only problem is, I think it gave me skin cancer. Upon completion of the drying action I noticed my hands were full of...sparkles. There were freakin' sparkles on my hands. This may also be the first indication of leprosy (I read that in a medical textbook once. It stated, "Leprosy begins with flashy sparkles on the back of the hand until it works it's way up the arms and chokes the victim with tubes of glitter.").

So I now have leprosy but my hands smell like 'Cotton Blossom' with Green Tea Extract and Shea Butter. Which, amazingly enough, I usually have for breakfast. There is nothing like an english muffin with Shea Butter and honey.