Jesus Just Left Chicago & He's Bound for New Orleans.

In my last post I made mention of my religious zealot cat. Then it occurred to me, "What if there really isn't a tooth fairy?!" After that occurrence occurred I realized that I have not told the story of the spiritual conversion of my cat. I apologize. It is like I was foreshadowing but more like backshadowing with a flair. Makes sense? Good.

My cat found Jesus.

He found him tucked in the corner of the hall closet behind some winter coats.

Hehehehe...

Sorry, that isn't right. Although it does make one wonder. Back "in the day" when Jesus walked the earth I wonder if he played a similar game to hide and seek called Find Jesus. He probably asked Peter to count to 30 then, with James and John, went looking for him. Eventually they would find him on some Judean plain feeding thousands of people with a loaf of bread and a fish. To make the miracle more dramatic I heard he used a small cornbread muffin and a sardine.

Of course, when Peter found him he would yell, "I found Jesus!" The other apostles would come running and then have a good time healing the lepers. They would never let Judas play, though.

My cat has always been one to investigate religions and try to find the meaning of life. He tried Buddhism once and even became a monk. He shaved his fur, put on an orange robe, and lived in a monastery. He soon reached nirvana by overdosing on lithium. He played that song all freaking day. Got really annoying. (For those who don't know the band Nirvana had a popular song named Lithium and...ah nevermind.) He once thought he reached true nirvana but that was only because we finally changed his litter box and put a picture of Courtney Love next to it. Somehow putting the picture in that spot seemed appropriate.

Hinduism was a good a choice...for about a day. The llama kept trying to eat him.

Madonna tried to convince him into joining her little freaked out sect of Judaism. He thought about it for awhile then realized...well...it IS Madonna. So he declined her invitation.

Other religions he tried were the Shakers, Quakers, and the Candlestick Makers. He did give Scientology a try but I refuse to give anymore space to Tom Cruise.

Just about the time he was to attend a meeting with the Jehovah’s Witnesses he had a vision. In the vision he came across a talking bush of catnip. The bush was on fire yet was not consumed. The catnip told him to not join the Jehovah Witnesses because they were "freaky". Instead he should join no religion, go home, and find Jesus.

After finding Jesus in the closet all he does is sit around all day and tell me how I am going to hell unless I find him too. But, since HE already found him I will have to go and find my own Jesus because he is not giving his up.

Hopefully I am not being too sacrilegious here. If I am may God strik