All that matters is my alma mater.

There is sure a lot of talk lately about the need to ban insulting and abusive mascot names for colleges and universities. I really don't see the big deal.

I, for one, did not go to a college that had a nickname or mascot. In the end, I don't think I missed it.

In case you are wondering, I went to the South Harbor Institute of Technology (S.H.I.T.) The school is very prestigious and has turned out impressive graduates.

As alumni, we are very proud of going to S.H.I.T. and will always remember those wonderful times. The first thing I remember is going to basketball games and the cheerleaders screaming, "Give me an S!!" We, of course, would yell "S!!" Then they would say, "GIVE ME AN H!!" We would yell back, "H!!" This would continue until the cheerleaders would finally exclaim, "WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?!" With pride we would respond at the top of our lungs, "A WHOLE LOT OF S.H.I.T.!!!" Oh that was fun.

As a matter of fact our teams were actually very good. And we did not need some silly mascot to inspire our teams onto victory. Although we did, occasionally, call them the Flying S.H.I.T.S! Our closest rival was a team from upstate. During homecoming one year a fight broke out in the stands. I am not sure who really won that riot, but the S.H.I.T.s really hit the fans.

Like any other college we would be very active in politics. There were some incredibly good movements on campus. Some were easy and our issues heard quickly and acted upon. Other times they would be a little slower which would require a lot of grunt work to get going. What a relief when everything came out well in the end.

One time there was a movement among the student body about the possibility of creating a nickname for S.H.I.T. Among the possibilities on the ballot were 1) Battling Brown Trouts, 2) JungleBugs, 3) Squat Monkeys, and my personal favorite 4) The Anal Snakes. After a hard fight the election ended in a draw. So we went back to the same old S.H.I.T.

Again, I am proud to be full of S.H.I.T. I am particularly glad of the degree I received from such a noble college. On my office wall I have an engraving of my diploma, which shows my B.S. degree in Business Management (BM).