We Got the Bubble-Headed-Bleach-Blonde

It is not everyday that I post 2 days in a row...err...umm...right.

Today I just had to. Did you see that one plane have that thing that was bad with the front landing gear all crazy like? And, like, the whole thing landed and there was like this fire and all. But, like, everyone was good. It was wild.

Well, I couldn't stop watching that landing. I am glad it ended well, but I was definitely on the edge of my seat. Unfortunately, I don't think the same things can be said for a certain person (Paula Zahn) on a certain news channel (CNN).

I decided to transcribe what I heard. Please let me know if you see anything strange here.

Paula Zahn: Hello. We take a break from yet another hurricane to give you bigger news. A plane is about to crash and kill everyone on board. See, here is a video of it. Isn't this wild? Wow...can you believe I am the one who gets to narrate this? Look! The front wheel is all skeewhumpus. I bet that will cause some major problems when it lands. To help us understand what could happen we have an actual pilot on the phone. Can you believe it? I got an actual pilot to call me. This has to be a dream come true for me. Because in high school I always fantasized about getting with a pilot in a jet and going a mile high...

Exert Pilot 1: H...hello? Am I on? Hello?

PZ: Oh...yes. Hi. Could you please tell us what it will be like to hear 145 people screaming for their lives as this plane crashes in a fiery blaze?

EP1: Umm...well...the pilots are trained to handle...

PZ: How big will the crater be after a plane that size hits the ground going 400 mph?

EP1: I don't think...the pilots are very skilled...and things will be ok...

PZ: Don't you think, though, that burning off the fuel before they try to land...won't that just make the fire less exciting?

EP1: Ummm

PZ: Oh wow! We have another pilot on the phone. Can you believe it? This reminds me of my other fantasy when...

Expert Pilot 2: Hi, I fly for United and...

EP1: Was I done??

PZ: Mr. second pilot, what do you think of the first pilot I was talking to? He really wasn't very smart. I mean, don't you just think he was an idiot? Please tell me that we will have a ratings hit when this plane takes out half of LA?

EP2: I really don't know him...

PZ: Don't you want to kick his ass? What a jerk. I bet he sleeps with gerbils in his butt.

EP2: I really don't know what this has to do with...

PZ: Now we will go to our expert weather chick whom I hate because she is better looking than me. How is that hurricane going?

Weather Chick: Well Paula I am not sure. But I really like saying "Barometric Pressure". It reminds me of an italian boyfriend I had. He would do this little thing with his tongue...

PZ: Oh crap. Larry King is going to finish the plane story? I quit!

Larry King: HELLO DES MOINES!!