You should not have believed me...I loved you not.

I am not sure what it is but when people quote Shakespeare to me I, at first, get a small twinge of excitement. It usually starts in the lower portion of my bowels and works it way up to my ear. Which is really gross if you sit down with a committee, create some synergy within the group, then go out for chinese, and finally think about it for a minute.

After this I then curl up into a tiny ball of fury, quickly spin around, then attack the perpetrator with a swift boot to the head. I will feel guilty because I really love Shakespeare. Here, let me quote from my favorite work of his.

Lo, in these windows that let forth thy life,
I pour the helpless balm of my poor eyes.
Cursed be the hand that made these fatal holes!
Cursed be the heart that had the heart to do it!
Cursed the blood that let this blood from hence!

Doesn't that just make you want to strangle a goat? Yet it is so sublime and rich in context. I love it. It is almost like William has taken you beneath the bleachers and impregnated you with the son of the literature gods. Of course the lit gods will deny it is their child...that is until the DNA test results come back.

So now we have a Hurricane out there spinning around which some lonely men at the Center for Hurricane Lewdness and Depauchery decided to call Ophelia. Everyone knows that Ophelia is the name of a major female character in Shakeys play Hamlet. You know the one, "To be or not to be, I think I left my sunglasses at Starbucks." That one.

I was ticked at first, until I began to remember who Ophelia was. Instead of explaining to you I will quote those who wish to make up crap about the meaning behind the great works of literature.

"Ophelia's distinct purpose is to show at once Hamlet's warped view of women as callous sexual predators, and the innocence and virtue of women."

"Perhaps it may be granted...that what makes a woman a whore in the Hamlets' estimation is her sexual use by not one man but by more than one man...."

"To those who are not blinded by hurt and rage, Ophelia is the epitome of goodness."

Leave it to those who critique literature to always bring sex into the picture. It is always about sex. Sex sex sex. Then they go on to say that a whore is good. The only good whore is one that gives me half off.

With the the whoredom of Ophelia deeply in my mind, I give you todays FFF...



I am thinking her name should more appropriately be, "OH FEEL YA".

Now onto those others who are whoring themselves out on FFF:

1. Techy Mike Shows His Rock Hard Wiener
2. CaCa Whores the Sacredness of Barbie
3. OGO Proves Bert Is Not Ernies Love Muppet
4. The Wife Shows That Clowns Are Evil
   
5. Others?