You'll Have a Gay Old Time.

Once, many years ago, I was caught up in the age old debate that captivated every young man with average hormone levels. Who would you choose, Betty or Wilma?

To me the choice was easy, Betty. Wilma was too motherly for me. Somehow she had that look of maturity I did not wish for in an erotic adventure with a cartoon character. Betty, on the other hand, had that animal instinct that portrayed the "Drawings Gone Wild" persona. I would have a one night stand with Betty, but probably marry Wilma. Besides, Wilma's taste in men gave me hope.

Recently Wilma has destroyed that fantasy I have had of her. Basically, she is making an ass out of herself.

It started on a western Caribbean cruise just as the ship left port in Honduras. Wilma was at the midnight chocolate buffet overdosing on rum, cakes and puddings. Feeling the need for some fresh air before diving into the chocolate tortes, Wilma found Betty in a dark corner doing a little bit of spit swapping with Fred on the lido deck. Hell hath no fury than a cartoon character scorned.

Wilma, as the story goes, picked Fred up (which is a difficult thing to do, but she is used to lifting brontosaurus ribs) and threw him overboard. A major cat fight with Betty ensued resulting in a bloody beating by a lifeboat oar.

Regret set in and Wilma headed to the bar. Twelve vodka's later she was found stumbling along the promenade deck mumbling her need for a "real man". She noticed Barney standing at the railing watching the ocean. "What the hell!" Barney will have to do. She rubbed up against him seductively and asked, "Hey B, wanna join me for some wave surfing in my room?"

Startled, Barney said, "Gee, I don't know Wilma. I have plans." At that moment, George Jetson seductively rubbed up against Barney and they walked off together.

Wilma was furious. In her heart, from that time forward, she dedicated herself to destroying everything she encounters. Over the railing she jumped screaming, "YEEEEEAAAAHHHHH!"

Below is a picture of her...man, what a bitch.