Is that, is that, is that how you measure a man?

After completing my secret mission to...North Carolina...I can finally reveal what I have been doing. A warning goes out to all of weak disposition. What I am about to describe is not pretty. If you applied makeup, made up the hair, dressed it in frilly lace, and added a cute pair of Brunomagli shoes, my post today will still not be pretty.

The last couple of weeks I have definitely been......working. This type of.......work.....has kept me from posting anything for quite awhile. But, I do assure you my..........job........has been very very important. Or, as they say in Mexico, muy muy importante. Unless you are my Mexican Aunt. She says........something else.

So, what have I been.......doing? Although I am not privileged to give too many details, I can say that it involves researching the origination and spread of the so called Avian Flu Virus. Or, as we say among my colleagues, the Coughing Chicken Choker.

My research has shown that this horrible influenza DID NOT start with birds in remote parts of Asia. On the contrary, it actually started in.........ummm.....North Carolina. Yes, my research has shown that Clay Aiken has been french kissing chickens. Oh, I know what you are you thinking, "Isn't Clay Aiken gay?". The easy answer is, it was a male chicken. Some people may call them roosters. I call them...roosters.

After long hours of painstakingly reviewing our notes, we determined the best way to stop this dreadful pandemic is to kill Clay Aiken.

So I am back and ready for action. Anyone willing to give me some?

In reality, work has kept me........working. The last few weeks had me traveling constantly and working long hours. I reflect back on this time and feel pretty much like a mountain climber who struggles through burning muscles, extreme temperatures, near falls, and calloused hands only to look around while standing at the top and think, "Why the hell did I do that?"

If you say, "Because it is there." I will give you a major "wet willey".

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving!