She likes me for me, Not because I hang with Leonardo

The Catholics are running amok!

Or is it amuck? I really don't know the grammar rules on this. The english language confuses me. Which, by the way, is the top reason I started this blog.

The Catholics are running amuck!

In movie theaters across the country unbridled Catholics are tipping over just purchased tubs of buttery popcorn and knocking the drinks out of the hands of the movie going public. There have also been alleged reports of old nuns jumping up in front of theater screens and doing a seriously wrinkled version of the full monty. The purpose of this exhibition is to obviously distract the audience from watching the movie.

What is all the fuss going on in the Catholic community? The Da Vinci Code comes to a theater near you today. Yes, it is the delightful film about a man and his paint brush that travel through the romantic areas of Italy and England. Although there are some that would argue there are NO romantic parts of England.

What is their quest? To seek the holy grail.

What is the holy grail? That question will be answered differently depending on who you ask. For example, some people believe the grail is the cup used by Jesus at the last supper. Others will contend it is Mary Magdelene who was the wife of Jesus. Then there are some who believe it is where you find relief in a bathroom after a day of judging a chili competition.

According to Dan Brown his holy grail is writing a lighthearted book that makes millions of dollars. Who would have guessed that his little tome would have ticked off one of the worlds major religions? But ticked them off he did. As a matter of fact they are not just ticked off they are ticketly tick tocked off. Rumor even has it that the pope has issued "one hell of a jihadic fatwa on Dan's ass." But I must admit my italian is a bit off tonight. He either said that or, "Hey Barry, get me a calzone."

All of this kind of interests me not at all. I read the book and had absolutely no desire to go out and kill catholics. Although I did give one the evil eye once. But I do that to lutherans all the time so I don't think much of it. What I do find intriquing is that the Jews felt the same way about The Passion of the Christ. Many catholics then, however, told them to stuff it in a tube sock.

So the catholics are mad and Dan Brown is bathing in his holy grail. After all is said and done it must make one wonder what Leonardo Da Vinci must think of this controversy. Again, my italian is a little weak, but I am sure he would say, "Barry, per favore darme un calzone." Which means in english "Barry, for favor darme a pants." But I think you get my point.